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Something of a confession comes from Joan Walsh, long-time writer and now editor-in-chief at Salon.com. Kathy's story has really blown the lid off the cone of silence around Men who hate women on the web. Another thoughtful entry I resonate with in a profound way. ... it coarsens you to look away, and to tell others to do the same. I've grown a thicker skin. I didn't want skin this thick. And what does it mean that women writers have to drag around this anchor every time they start to write -- that we reflexively compose our own hate mail, and sometimes type and retype to try to avoid it? I can honestly say it's probably made me more precise and less glib. That's good. But it's also, for now, made me too cautious. I write less than I would if I wasn't thinking these thoughts. I think that's bad. I think Web misogyny puts women writers at a disadvantage, and as someone who's worked for women's advancement in the workplace, and the world, that saddens me. Dorothea on how men can heal the net culture at Caveat Lector I believe this as much as if I'd written it myself. Samples: It’s all over the place -- the pr0n jokes, the “I’d hit that” (hit, equating sex to aggression, that, reducing a human being to a thing), the “I bet she’s hot,” the “I bet she’s a fat whore,” the “I did your mom” one-offs. Everything about a woman, any woman, reduces to sex and sexual attractiveness. Even compliments are invariably phrased in terms of sexual attractiveness; geekland doesn’t know how else to compliment a woman. ...She goes on to explain why women can't really be very effective when they speak up, so men have to do it. So here is what you do, if you’re a man wanting to help. You say, “Um, was that supposed to be funny? Because, not laughing here.” You say, “Hey, could we not use that phrase? I don’t like it.” You say to the main perpetrators, in IRC whispers or private email or whatever, “Hey, would you mind toning down the jokes? That kind of talk really bothers me.”I buy the rationale behind why men have to lead on this, but I wonder if women might be able to drop the stray objection in places like Techcrunch comments when the commentary degenerates. I think participants in more business-oriented communities may not be quite as hardcore as the more gamer types Dorothea describes. Maybe not a good place to start, Techcrunch readership is overwhelmingly male. How did that happen anyway? Scoble says he won't promote Justin.TV anymore until they clean up the chatroom. Good for him. And good luck! I used to supervise the chatroom hosts at AT&T Worldnet. So hard to control chat. We ended up having to let a lot of the language go and concentrate on the worst abusers, leaders, a kid who said he mailed a bomb to the White House, hackers. |