Neuroscientists discover new brain chemical – and a drug to govern it

Leading neuroscience researchers announced the discovery of a new naturally occurring neurotransmitter and have dubbed it "blurtamine."

The brain chemical reportedly produces an excitatory postsynaptic effect resulting in an urge to impart one's ideas and opinions through the writing of blog posts to anyone on the internet who might be interested.

At the same time, the researchers believe they have uncovered a means to suppress the blogging urge by employing an agent they call "Twitter," a selective blurtamine reuptake inhibitor, thought to satisfy the urge to blurt in a more efficient way than traditional blogging.

Plans to market the agent as a prescription medication are in the works pending patient studies and approval by the federal XMPP.